Do you cry yourself to sleep?
Have you thought about killing yourself? If so get medication along with the other which is what people who don't think about killing themselves need. A structured plan and a perpetual kick in the ass. A real friend will not comfort you everytime you cry but they will tell you what you need to do so after enough times you will associate this pain with that advice.People without suicidal thoughts get on antidepressants because life isn't what they thought it would be. They think they deserve to be happier because deep down they know they are not living up to their potential. The truth is they don't deserve to be happy. This discomfort is suppose to push them out of the little nook or crack into the dynamics of life and stimulation so that they will deseve it. But they are spoiled. Yes depression is a luxury sometimes. I know first hand. Do you constantly discredit peoples advice because you believe they are presumptious and since they don't don't have their life together like the people in your dreams  they are just talking out of their ass? Well Your pain and self pitty and hurting yourself under the illusion that you are hurting others comes from someone who does not speak out of their ass. Your creator.The creator will allow you to hurt yourself under the illusion you are hurting others untill you finaly associate the pain with the problem. which is yourself and the dreams that you cause to be dreamed. Your only two possesions are your body and mind. Maintaining or exercising those well be your only sorce of lasting, genuine pleasure or satasfaction. Just about anything else besides love will fade like the exuse or illusion it is.    selah